Phobias
by whoventus
Summary: Rukia Kuchiki is nothing but vague and boring. She is more than the hurricanes and the volcanoes. She is more than the stars in the sky and she moves him more than the waves of the ocean. She is the sun, burning his skin after the pouring rain. And she is the moon for she embodies mystery and all it's virtues. She is the universe. Where will the universe go when she dies?
1. Fear

_**February 13, 2009**_

_**3:25 PM - Religion Class**_

Ichigo's mind wandered to the outskirts of Karakura. He sat absentmindedly in his religion class, paying little attention to his teacher's lesson on extremists from all religions. He watched a group of students gather around the cross country route, assuming they were out for gym class. Each student lined up on different sections. The fastest runner would be ahead and the slowest would be the one behind. And then _BANG! _The sound of the gunshot echoed through his ears, signalling for the runners to take off in the same speed the bullet took. He would be lying if he said he didn't jump in his seat. But who cares? He didn't focus on the students in class. He focused on the students outside. The students dressed in baggy clothes, sweating from head to toe, whose breathing was hard and shallow, limbs moving at a fast paced motion. These students interested him more than the lazy students in his class who wore the generic uniform, who passed time by tapping their fingers against their desks, who didn't have the energy and excitement of the one's outside.

In summation; Religion class blows.

He found it to be pointless. It was just another way for his teacher to force their opinions down the throats of the students. But as pointless as class goes; there was appeal. And what appealed to him was the constant essay projects the teacher forced them to write.

He found himself whining about the whole affair but eventually sucked up his 'pain' and wrote the most intriguing essays in little effort. He was envied by other students because of this. While students crammed and studied multiple books on religion or other subjects, he was able to conjure up a masterpiece in any time.

He sighed to himself, wanting to be one of the students who ran on the tracks barely breathing and limbs going numb. He wanted to be one of the students who sacrificed their limbs in finishing first place and he wanted the adrenaline pumping through his blood, his mind going berserk as he would outrun each opponent on the field. Ichigo was always a competitive one. He would turn anything into a competition and to put it nicely, his competitiveness pissed the fuck off everyone involved with it. Last year, on his mother's anniversary, he heard his father say 'I love you,' to her grave and he made it a competition and vowed to say 'I love you' more than his father did (he won, only because his father couldn't risk Yuzu and Karin getting colds just because he wanted to pour his heart out for a competition).

Ichigo twirled his No. 2 pencil on his slender fingers, still watching the students running for their lives. He found it amusing how the barbaric side of humans can easily be triggered with the right competition.

While he watched them run run run for their lives, his ears were still attentively listening to the teacher. "...Now, I know this is religion class but I'd like to discuss disgusting norms our society have acquired. Would anyone like to list any?" The sly tongue of his teacher moved in his mouth like a dance immortalized by memory.

He turned his head for a split second, the teacher staring him down like a hunter looking down on his prey. Ichigo knew this look. His teacher wanted him to answer the question because as his classmates envied his knowledge, his teacher took pleasure from it. He gulped, feeling his teacher's raging blue eyes burn through him entirely. He was scared and he couldn't move. And that is his fear; what if Yuzu and Karin and Isshin were in danger and he couldn't do anything about it? What if Sado, or Inoue, and Ishida, or Keigo, or Tatsuki, or Mizuiro were in danger? That is the real fear resonating inside of him. The fear of watching his loved ones die one by one while all he could do was watch and be paralyzed.

So he raised his hand, thinking if he gave in to this everlasting pain that it would eventually disappear. But it did not. His heartbeat was still rapidly beating, sweat balls dropped from his forehead, and his legs shaking. If he was standing, he sure would have fallen over. His ears rung when his teacher spoke, engulfing him in his presence like a snake swallowing it's prey alive. "Yes, Ichigo?"

His arm dropped down. His teacher waited patiently for him to answer, while the uniformed students waited impatiently. He noticed some of them prepared to take notes as if he were God descending upon the Earth, telling his servants to record everything he said. He cleared his throat, trying to steady his heartbeat so his words wouldn't come out half-assed and thoughtless. "Well, there are a lot things wrong with today's society. One which particularly makes me shake my head at night," He paused, hearing the students scribble frantically into their notebooks and hearing his teacher chuckle. "Is the mindset that ALL Muslims are extremists. But anyone who thinks this is just a bigot. We almost always associate extremists or terrorists as Muslims but they are all not extremists or terrorists. Some don't even practice the religion. But I think we believe this because of what happened in America in 2001. We blame their whole religion and anyone practicing their religion for it but what we don't understand is there are other extremists from other religions as well and they express it differently. Like, the Westboro Baptist Church for example. They believe this notion that God hates homosexuals. So, they rampage about the country, ranting and ranting about something that is not true. If God did hate homosexuals then why did he create them? He is an almighty being we perceive to be perfect and he wouldn't have made homosexuals the way they were if he didn't like them the way they were. He created Earth in balance and peace so why would he create something that others believe would destroy the Earth?" He paused again, now slowly panting.

His teacher nodded in awe at his response. It was no lie that Ichigo was his best student and he like to flaunt it. "But what about Lucifer? He convinced Adam and Eve to eat from the forbidden tree and in doing so, damned our world in sin and evil?"

Ichigo snorted. He expected much better questions from his teacher who he believed mastered all knowledge on religion. "Lucifer was an angel and a loved one at that. I can not speak on his behalf because I do not know him personally and his motives might be completely different. The Bible showcased him as an evildoer but who knows, maybe the Bible was just a lie. There is no one alive in the Earth right now that has been present at the time of writing and yes, while there may be some structures supporting the finer points of the book, Christians and/or Catholics could've just called dibs on it and structured the Bible based on them." Ichigo stopped talking, noticing the wide goofy smile his teacher had acquired in his time of talking.

His teacher clapped slowly, his pale palm hitting the other. "My, my. I'm surprised you chose to go to Karakura High while I'm sure other schools offered you scholarships." He shrugged, hiding his happiness. While he was scared of his teacher, some of his fear would diminish after being complimented. "Anything else to add?"

Ichigo nodded, thinking back to a certain phrase in the Bible that peaked his interests. "Relating back to the topic on homosexuals, I recall this certain quote I found in the Bible. I think it relates so much to what I just spoke about. In Ecclesiastes 7:13, it says, 'Consider the work of God, For who is able to straighten what he has bent.' To modernize it a bit; We should accept the way God does things. If we entrust him with our lives then we should trust the things he has made crooked."

He felt bad about the students taking jot notes on his rambling. He admired their desire to get smarter, but he didn't want them to get smarter from him. He wanted them to get smarter on their own so they know their strengths. And also it pissed him off when someone copied him.

"Well done, Ichigo. Now, this discussion was preparation for your next essay. Ichigo has provided with a perfect example. You will list a societal norm you find disgusting, excluding the one we talked about today, and you will create a DETAILED essay on it. Your written essay will be worth half and you will be doing a presentation that will be worth the other half. I expect you to practice more than once and to work on this other than the day before the deadline. And as I entrust you with my expectations, I have given you two months to complete this assignment." He heard the cheers and relieved sighs of the students. "Pick up a copy of the guidelines on your way out."

The school beng rang loudly and the students shuffled out of their seats towards his desk. On it was a big stack of papers and each one grabbed a guideline. He watched them exit the class with their assignments and as the herd shortened, he went up and got himself one. As he grabbed the stapled papers, he felt a cold arm grab his. He gulped, knowing full well whose it was. "Ichigo, I noticed you were out of focus in class today. You seemed to be only present in class only when I asked you about the social norms of today. While I was disappointed in you, I was still in awe at your speech." He paused, smiling up at Ichigo, the ends of his mouths stretching to his ears. "You are smart and I'd hate for you to fall back. When you have graduated and understand the different beliefs and principles of each religion and culture we discuss about, take your understanding to the world outside. In the meantime, I expect you to pay attention each and every day. I know you think religion is pointless, much like some other students but know that the things I'm teaching you now will help shape your morality. If you don't follow my instructions, then I'll be calling home to your parents, uh excuse me, parent. Now goodbye, Ichigo!" The slyness of his voice almost made Ichigo crumble to the ground.

He nodded, feeling relieved when his teacher let go. "Yes, Mr. Ichimaru." And with the final words said, he left the classroom with a feeling of unease.

* * *

**I am actually so very proud of this first chapter. And as a note, if you are a writer, please do have confidence in your writing. Having a good attitude about it can make your stories go a long way. But if you do ever feel as though one of your pieces are 'bad,' then just tell yourself that this is just a bump in the road and one 'bad' story will not affect your other amazing ideas and stories.**

**Just a couple of notes:**

**1)This is not in the same universe as the original Bleach (which I do not own). This is a different universe and I'm still tweaking some plot details so maybe this will soon be in the Bleach universe but I'll have to change a few things, first thing being how Gin ended up being Ichigo's religion teacher.**

**2) This chapter was controversial and my betas felt uncomfortable reading and editing it so if you have any concerns, please discuss it with me but I do want to talk about these matters because it is currently happening and I want to get the message across. If you could not handle this chapter, I recommend you stop reading because it is very likely there will be more controversial topics being discussed. **

**3) There will be a lot of IchiHime and RukiKaien in the beginning and I'll see how it goes from there.**

**4) Reviews are much appreciated.**


	2. Skinny Love

_**February 16, 2009**_

_**12:00 PM - Cafeteria/Lunch area**_

_**Skinny love - Two people loving each other but are too shy to admit it.**_

Ichigo climbed up the rusting steps towards the rooftops for lunch. With him, he carried a blue bag with the lunch Yuzu had packed for him; noodles with beef. His grey slacks rode up his calves, and the sleeves of his white button down shirt jumping out from being tucked in his pants. With every _clank _his feet made with each step, the grumble in his stomach grew louder and louder. The grumbling mixed with the clanking mixed with the dark environment of the staircase gave him and anyone else on it feeling scared.

In retaliation; he quickened his pace and swung his arms as he ran up the steps. His lunch bag was being swayed as it shouldn't have. He cared more about the illusion of survival than the slowly spilling noodles he had. His dirty black sneakers stomped on each step, making the clanks echo louder than before

His feet stopped moving after about two minutes of jogging up a never-ending staircase. He was heaving, sucking in every bit of oxygen, preparing for his lungs to give out at any given moment. He ran his hands through the orange mop that was his hair, his hands being moistened by the sweat. '_Well, that's a good way to start lunch,'_ He thought reassuringly, wiping the sweat off on his pants and continuing to climb the steps at a much slower pace.

He surprisingly reached the rusting metal door, painted with greys and blues to cover up the rusting. He stood by, catching his breath and fixing his appearance before pushing it open.

His tall lanky build was thrown on the ground by the force of Keigo, the running man. He acquired the nickname after being chased down by two cross-country girls for six blocks. Sadly, he did not escape without being scratched. Actually, it was more than a scratch. He came out bruised and punched everywhere. His school uniform had been ripped and his hair was cut down and it made him look like a fool. But the icing on the cake were the words written on his face, 'lost male stripper. If found, call XXX BOYZZZ at 1-800-999-8734.' XXX BOYZZZ actually filed a complaint and had their numbers changed after receiving so much calls about Keigo, the missing male stripper.

"IIIICHIIIIGOOOOOOO," He hugged Ichigo forcefully, his skinny legs wrapped tightly around his waist. The girls behind Keigo giggled at his playfulness, but more at the clenched fist Ichigo had prepared. And the punch hit Keigo at the back of his neck, making his limp body take Ichigo down with him. Now, Ichigo was on top of Keigo, his legs still wrapped around his waist.

"Stupid, what are you trying to do?" Ichigo got up, wiping off the asphalt on his pants, looking down at Keigo who appeared to be counting birds circling his head.

"Just… wanted… to greet… my friend…" He laughed maniacally, gripping the back of his head at the same time to stop the pain.

"You try that again, next time you won't have a friend to greet," Ichigo spat at Keigo coldly, taking his lunch bag and sitting beside Inoue Orihime, the princess of his grade. As he opened up his lunch, he caught the sight of her. She was beautiful, no doubt. Her orange locks cascaded along her back, resembling the waves of the ocean. Her cream legs were crossed, giving enough sight to the boys and Chizuru. Her grey skirt rose higher than usual and her shirt was tight around her upper body, her large breasts popping at the buttons. But Ichigo didn't care as much about looks as the other boys. He liked her for who she was, the Orihime that was never offended, the Orihime who wanted to be strong, the Orihime who greeted everyone nicely, the Orihime that was playful, and the Orihime residing in his heart.

Tatsuki glared at Ichigo, aware of his crush on Orihime. She didn't want Orihime to date Ichigo because honestly, Tatsuki didn't like Ichigo. He was always scowling and always a pessimist while Orihime was smiling like the sun with the heart of a child. He paid little attention to Orihime and only noticed her when she grew out those large breasts of hers. But she had to endure him for her. For she liked Ichigo as much as he liked her. Skinny love.

"Ichigo, you look up her skirt again and the next thing you'll be seeing is my fist inside your mouth," she whispered at his ear, making Orihime wonder what she'd said to him. He blushed, his chopsticks picking at the noodles while none arrived at his mouth.

Keigo recovered shortly after from the assault (or as Ichigo called it, 'getting his ass beat). He ran past the eating bunch, sticking his nose out of the fence that protected him from falling over. "Whoa," He thought aloud, causing each and everyone at some point to say with hostility, "what?"

Keigo gulped, running his hands through his mop of brown hair. "Good…" He paused, inhaling a dangerous amount of oxygen, "looking car." He drooled slightly, each drop dripping onto the metal fence.

Tatsuki, along with Orihime and the others, excluding Ichigo, joined Keigo at admiring the 'good looking car.' They all had the same reactions as Keigo, a mix of confusion and admiration. At some point, Orihime said, "What is a nice car like this doing at Karakura High?" And no one answered. They all nodded in agreement.

Ichigo scoffed, gulping down the noodles. "Who cares?"

His idiotic response earned him a backslap from Tatsuki. "WHO CARES? A NICE CAR HAPPENS TO SHOW UP AT OUR SCHOOL AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS WHO CARES?"

Ichigo was unfazed by her hit, "Sorry, let me say that again; Who, and I say this to the people who have functioning brain cells, would care for a stupid car?"

Again, Tatsuki's brute force assaulted him. "WHAT IF IT'S THE CIA? WHAT IF JACKIE CHAN CAME TO ASK ME TO JOIN HIS SECRET KARATE CLUB?" Tatsuki beamed with happiness, engulfing Orihime in a bone crushing hug.

"Oh please, you aren't even that good at karate. Maybe, just maybe, they're coming to take you to their shitty-karate-guys-n'-gals-club." He looked up Tatsuki, oblivious to his diss and instead crushing every bone in Orihime's body. "And let go of her will ya? She's too young to die."

She reluctantly let go, her eyes burning through Ichigo's tough exterior. "You only said that cause you want her alive so you two can kiss." The comment had thrown Ichigo off his high horse and Orihime cowered to a corner, hiding the fierce blush on her cheeks.

"Shut up, idiot." Ichigo yelled at her, veins pulsing on his forehead to control himself. "Where's this car?" He asked, changing the subject so he wouldn't be exposed.

He wandered towards the fence, being followed by the group. The sight of the car had surprised him too. It was shiny and looked brand new, not the eight year old cars he saw in traffic. He wanted to get a better look but he didn't want to run down the stairs again. So he just watched it from the tall height.

For a moment, everything was still. The car hadn't moved and the trees didn't move. Ichigo felt like he was trapped in time but then he saw it. The passenger door opened, along with back seat door. "People," he whispered and soon the rest of the group had joined him.

Three bodies had emerged from the car; two boys and one girl. Keigo once again, began to drool. "Look at that beaut," he said, licking his lips. He eyed the girl with longing eyes. From what he could see, she was small. She had black hair that ended at her shoulders and she wore the school uniform. The height advantage made it difficult for him to observe the girl any longer.

Tatsuki looked at the boys, "Yeah, and look at those guys." Keigo shifted his gaze from the girl to the two boys now lined up beside her. They were both taller than her by a large margin. The one on the girl's left had flaming red hair. It wasn't orange like Orihime's and Ichigo's, but literally red. It was really long, pushing past his shoulders. Tatsuki squinted her eyes, "Does he have a tattoo?" The others noticed it too. The ragged lines and shapes and edges that accented his eyebrows.

Orihime nodded, silent up until now. "There's another guy," she pointed to the one on the right who had his arm slung around the girl. He looked like a normal teenager. He wasn't too short, he had no tattoos and no freakishly long hair. No, he was normal. He had normal black hair, a normal build, and no tattoos. He's what you'd expect to attend a high school.

And one thing they all looked past; the Karakura High uniforms they wore.

* * *

**I experienced technical difficulties the other day. The ORIGINAL Chapter 2 was deleted and I tried to recover the files (I was stupid to not save) but it was too late. I finished writing the most shitty new chapter 2 and only one of beta's were able to edit so yeah, just look past the shittiness and pretend it's good.**

**Again, just a couple notes:**

**\- God yes, there is IchiHime. I will keep it that way until I decide if this is gonna be a RukiKaien or an IchiRuki story.**

**\- This was a shitty chapter holy shit I just finished reading over it again.**

**\- From where this is going, there's a high chance this'll be set in the normal Bleach universe with shinigamis but the relationships and enigmas of the human characters have been changed drastically from my story so it'll be hard to continue on.**

**\- I'm not gonna ignore the zanpakuto names because they were a really big part of the story line so maybe I'll reincarnate them as people? We'll see.**

**\- Reviews are appreciated and thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read my shitty story (okay, my story is great).**

**\- I am enduring major writers block so I'll be off for about three days until I can write a better chapter than this one.**

**AND WOW I GOT A REVIEW FROM MY LAST CHAPTER! GOD YES I CHANGED THE BLEACH THING SO MUCH BUT I'M GONNA MAKE IT WORK BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPONSE ON THE WHOLE THING ABOUT MUSLIMS AND HOMOSEXUALS YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY LIFE!**


	3. Daemonophobia

_**February 16, 2009**_

_**3:25 PM - Religion class**_

_**Daemonophobia - The fear of demons**_

Rukia's soft steps echoed throughout the halls of Karakura High. Her silence was accompanied by two (good-looking) boys on either side of her. They filled the vacant spots of the hallways with the three of them lined up. They passed by usual opened classrooms, watching teachers drone on about tangents or why acrylic paint was easier to work with than water paints. The students they observed were much too busy with their own forms of mischief. As they passed by a math class, they observed students passing answers to each other and as they passed the science class, a group of students were inhaling deadly fumes with the teacher gone. "God, if this is what our class is like, then no thank you." Rukia mumbled angrily, breaking the thin line that was the peaceful silence.

Renji looked down at her, admiring his viewing advantage. He could see every small detail etched on her pale face. The mascara marks fading away on her eyelids, the frail brows tangling within one another, and the fierce purple rubies that were her eyes. Everytime he looked at them he was trapped in her spell. He ran his hands through his fiery red hair, scrunching up his eyebrows, the movement making his tattoos move. "Well, at least you got us in your class, right Kaien?" He looked up at the other boy who was maybe two inches smaller than him

Kaien returned the eye contact, the black void that were his eyes burning through Renji. They didn't get along very well, always a lot of awkward tension when they were alone. Renji liked Rukia and Kaien liked Rukia, but they both knew her brother, Byakuya, would not approve of her having a long term relationship with them. So they waited and waited, through thick and thin, for Rukia to decide who really belonged in her heart. "Yeah, yeah, Abarai. Surprised you got into advanced classes with us."

Renji scoffed stoically, "Remember that I was the only one in the advanced classes back in Seireitei Academy and you two were in the regular classes."

And they did remember, both Rukia and Kaien. They both applied to the academy at a young age, not bearing the rough streets anymore and they made it. Renji had passed his entry exam with flying colors while Rukia passed it with just a mere score. She was placed in regular classes and he was placed in advanced classes. After that, they drifted apart. Renji hung out with the smart kids consisting of two people, Kira and Momo. And Rukia found Kaien, the childish and adored by everyone Kaien. Renji tried so hard to get her back but she was infatuated with the presence of another man and he tried. His efforts were overlooked and he began to fail his class. Instead of trying to get good grades, he tried to get Rukia back.

"If you guys are gonna bicker all the time then I'll change classes." Rukia said defiantly. It shut them up. They didn't want Rukia to slip through their fingertips and they were willing to do anything. And when she announced she'd be moving to Karakura, they both left the academy and joined her (and Byakuya).

"Sorry Rukia," they both whispered.

And once again, their small talk was beaten down by the approaching peaceful silence. They could once again hear their breathing and their synchronized steps along the muddy white tiles of the school. They walked like that until they reached their first class; Religion with a Mr. Ichimaru Gin.

Rukia knocked softly on the closed door, watching the boys stare at each other angrily behind her. '_boys,'_ she thought, tapping her foot against the floor.

She waited a few more minutes with no response, she leaned against the wall and slowly slid down, crushing the contents of her backpack that was slung on her back. She crossed her legs, tugging down the small fabric that was her skirt from the view of the boys (much to their disappointment). She patted the spots next to her, telling them to join her. "Come, let's wait here."

Renji was the first one to sit beside Rukia, his backpack balanced on his legs. He squished up beside her, her sides pressing up against his own body. Kaien did the same but on the opposite side. They both tried to get closer to her but just ended up crushing her petite body against both of them. It wasn't until they heard her gasping for air that they moved away from her, giving her time to catch her breath. "Fuck you guys, I could've been crushed." She mumbled through her shallow breathing.

Kaien looked down at his legs with a guilt ridden face. He never wanted to hurt Rukia and god forbid him when the day finally comes. He was supposed to be her savior, the rock she could always lean on. But he kept making mistakes after the other. Renji however just rolled his eyes. He was the brute of the three and it showed through the veins pulsing through his muscles and the six pack he packed under his shirt. His muscles had accented themselves on the thin button down. His appearance today had reminded Rukia of Hercules, but a teenage version who dyed his hair red and got eyebrow tattoos and was forced to go to school.

And again, the silence had taken over their voices. Rukia was now back to normal, the slow agonizing pain they'd given her had disappeared. Kaien was once again smiling, looking at the beauty that was Rukia while Renji had fallen into a light sleep. Rukia looked at Renji, glad that he was part of her life again. She couldn't bear the time they spent apart from the academy and sure she was glad she had Kaien, but no one could fill the vacant spot in her heart. She had missed him but she never admitted it. She saw how happy he was with his new friends and she didn't want to take that away from him. And now they were back in each other's lives and she couldn't be happier.

In their moments of silence, they hadn't heard the obvious opening of the door. Kaien, who was closest to the door had jumped at the sight of a smiling man looking down at them. "Ah, and you must be the new students. I heard you knock but you know, I am busy." He greeted the students with malice in his voice. Rukia gulped, not liking the man already. He stared at them for a little while longer before speaking again, "Wake up your friend and come in." He left them speechless, entering the classroom. Rukia shook Renji awake and they followed her into the classroom.

What they saw was ordered and quiet. It wasn't like the other classes with the deadly fumes and the passing notes. What they saw were students seated silently, writing quickly the notes Gid had written on the blackboard. "I guess this is the difference with advanced and regular classes." Kaien leaned down to whisper to both of them, taking in the new faces they'd be seeing every day.

The students seemed oblivious to their presence. They were madly scribbling into their notebooks before Gin began to erase. They didn't know what to do. Were they supposed to just stand there or just pick seats to sit on? They both exchanged confused looks to one another and they knew they were asking the same thing.

Gin coughed, the students now facing him and the new students. "Class, these are the new transfer students." He motioned for the three to step forward and they moved their legs at a slow pace.

Everything was silent for a while. The students just took in their godlike looks. Unlike them, their uniforms were pressed and ironed, no stains and rips, their shoes shined recently, and their hairs looked full and luminous compared to the others. Well, everything WAS silent, until Keigo spoke up. "HEY YOU GUYS WERE THOSE GUYS THAT CAME OUT OF THAT CAR."

Tatsuki hit him, making him cower down back in his seat. To the ones who saw them beforehand, they did look familiar and their suspicions were affirmed when Keigo, the idiot that he was, spoke up. Orihime, who was sat up front, took notice of what they looked like up close. Renji did have a tattoo and Kaien looked like a regular teenager and Rukia, much to Keigo's pleasure, looked even more beautiful than far away.

Gin spoke again, laughing silently at Keigo's bravery. Keigo wasn't the smartest in the class, but he was the funniest. Everyone always picked on him but he took no notice and did the dumbest things. "Introduce yourselves."

Kaien stepped forward, breaking their line of friendship. He was keen on going first. "Kaien Shiba," he waved to a few ogling girls, which made Rukia sick to the stomach. She had developed a gigantic crush on Kaien during the time they spent together at the academy. But she was sure he only liked her as a friend so she suppressed her feelings. Kaien stepped back and pushed Rukia forward with a light force.

"Rukia Kuchiki," she mumbled quickly, stepping back into the line. No muss no fuss. That was how she preferred it.

Renji went next, taking the time to look at the students. Even though he liked Rukia, he still had regular hormones. He took notice of every girl in the class, but mostly to Orihime, the busty girl that sat directly in front of him. "Abarai Renji." He said casually yet formally. He looked at Keigo with a goofy smile, like he was aware of the presence of the town idiot. "And yes, we are those guys that came out of that car." He stepped back onto the line, leaving everyone stunned at how smug he was. No one should be that smug on their first day, but there he was, smug as ever.

After all the formalities were over, they were assigned to their respective seats and luckily, they were beside each other.

Gin went back to teaching, not recapping on what he'd been droning on about for the last half hour. "There are many demons according to religion. In Buddhism, Mara is a distinct demon. In Christianity, Lucifer was considered a demon at some point. In Islam, the Jinn have been recorded as demons." He wrote the demons names on the blackboard, stepping away as to let the students write it down before continuing on. "But religion is not the only thing that records demons. They are apparent in mythology. There are bestiary's around the world, recording different types of demons and monsters from Greek to Roman to others mythology." He paused, writing down what the bestiary was; a book consisting of unimaginable creatures of the night. "Does anyone know what the fear of demons is called?" He called out, his voice echoing louder than before. He looked at the seat of students before looking at Rukia. "Rukia, do you know?" He smiled that awful smile again, giving Rukia chills down her spine.

"Daemonophobia." She said confidently before writing down the words on the blackboard. Kaien and Renji looked at her in disbelief. They didn't know that she knew. And she spoke so quickly like she wanted him to ask her.

"Correct. It was once said that we all have this phobia for we are afraid of demons, whether real or fictional. Now, show of hands, who in their child years, has ever checked their closets and under their beds for a demon or a monster that never came but plagued your minds?" Every student raised their hand. Well, except for Rukia. Gin had taken notice of this and called her out. "Rukia, would you care to explain why you haven't?" And just like that, all eyes were on her.

Rukia shrugged, her pupils dilated. "Where I come from, you couldn't be afraid of anything."

Gin groaned at her vague response, urging her on to elaborate. "Please, continue."

And right then is when she put everybody to their place, making them thankful for having what they had now. "I grew up in the slums. My sister abandoned me and I had to grow by myself. I was poor. I got sick a lot. I got arrested. I was the demon itself. Then I met this boy," she looked at Renji with glowing eyes and he knew. He was that boy. "He took me in and we had three other friends. We stole and we got caught but we were good. Then they died. Got sick or something. We didn't know, we weren't doctors. I couldn't afford to get scared, and neither did he because being scared from where we come from got you raped, murdered, drugged, sold, and interrogated. We grew up not being scared of the things under our bed or the things in our closet because we were the ones scaring kids and people and being strong got us here. We showed no fear and we survived. We were chased down constantly but we weren't scared. We were determined and that determination got me and him to where we are now."

The rest of the class looked at Rukia with the same looks a soldier would get after returning from war. No one wanted to speak and no one needed to. They told her what they wanted to say whether it be 'I'm sorry,' or 'God, I feel bad for you,' with the looks on their eyes. Gin was taken aback by her response. He expected something like, 'I wasn't scared because I was into gory stuff.' But he made do with her response. He slowly clasped his hands together and the sound of skin hitting skin was heard from everyone. "Rukia, thank you for sharing." He said slyly, his tongue rolling around in his mouth. He went back to teaching about demons.

Kaien passed a note to Rukia, biting his lip. She read it;

_Creepy guy, right?_

Rukia chuckled, writing down her response;

_Kaien, grow a pair._

He didn't write back because he did have to grow a pair. He wanted to be strong for Rukia, after what he'd put her through in the academy.

* * *

**This chapter was a lot better than the other, but I still feel like it sucks but enjoy.**

**Again, just a couple notes:**

**\- Next chapter will be a flashback to the academy with Rukia and Kaien because I ended with Kaien not writing back.**

**\- Flashback chapters will have this '+' by their chapter name.**

**\- This was a rushed chapter because I'll be real busy with this thing for school and I need to be fully invested in it so I'll leave you guys with this chapter until then.**

**\- Still have writers block.**

**\- Reviews, whether good or bad, are much appreciated.**


	4. I'm Sorry (flashback)

_**THIS IS A FILLER OR A FLAHSBACK THING AND THE CHAPTER NAME IS MESSIN UP SO JUST A HEADS UP**_

* * *

_**August 6, 2007**_

_**7:30 AM - Entry exam class**_

_**Sorry - The act of feeling remorse/regret towards people, animals, and things.**_

The buzzing of the large classroom had hidden the stink of anxiety from the students. In the gargantuan classroom, hundreds and hundreds of students were sweating from head to toe, tapping their pencils and pens against the dark mahogany tables where the students guideline was placed upon. But in the midst of hundred of students, only 50 would pass the test, allowing them to enter Seireitei Academy.

Rukia and Renji had entered just after 7:40, seating in their assigned seats. Renji would be sitting in the front, where the considered academically superior would be seated while Rukia sat in the middle, where the students with mediocre intellect had sat. And in the back sat the academically inferior, who didn't give two shits about the entry exam.

She sat beside a silver-haired boy that was about her height. He looked too young to be applying for a scholastic school. His robes were poorly dressed, bits and pieces of his undergarments making prints on the thin black fabric. She nodded, saying "hello' politely before confining into her own little chair. He didn't respond. He looked at her, giving her a once-over. Unlike him, Rukia had taken the time to dress nicely, pressing down on the robe with an iron and combing every strand of black hair she had.

_**RING RING RING!**_

The students silenced themselves upon hearing the headache inducing bell. The ones who were gathered into small groups had slithered away into their designated spots. Rukia held her pencil tight on one hand, eyeing the thick paper book that was the student guideline. She wanted to open it and read it but it was against the rules. She had remembered reading it on the information package her and Renji had received, _'Rule No.5 - The guideline on your desk shall not be opened until grading is done. The initial grading will take an hour or two and the board suggests you bring something to pass the time. This prohibits the use of technology and if seen with one will be taken away._'

She smirked, pulling out two books she'd read over and over but was always intrigued by them; Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War,' and Charlotte Brontë's 'Jane Eyre'. She had bookmarked her last read pages, well into the thickness of the book.

Soon after, the professor had walked in. He was an old looking man, well into his thirties or forties. He wore the same looking uniforms as his students but he had more whites than blacks. He was tall, he looked six feet and his broad shoulders hunched over slightly. Rukia had noticed the straight flow of white hair he had. _'Guy must be under a lot of stress,_' she thought, smiling up at him.

He spoke softly, introducing himself. "My name is Jushiro Ukitake and I will be the one to grade your papers today. I hope you have read the package sent to your houses because the grading will be in-class and will take a long time. If you however forgot to bring something to do, I will lend out thirteen of my favorite novels." He gestured towards the teacher's desk, two piles of books separated. "Now, the test will be multiple choice until the last question. There will be an essential question and you will choose in which format to answer it whether it be an essay or a narrative or other forms of writing. There is a total of nine questions and nine questions only."

He glanced down at his golden watch, "You may start." He said louder than before so the students at the back could hear.

Rukia took in a deep breath, opening the question booklet, tightly gripping her pencil between her middle finger and her thumb. She read the disclaimer bolded at the top of the page:

_**DISCLAIMER: Language Arts, Mathematics, Science, and Social Studies will be the main focus for the multiple choice questions. The last question will be universal so you can answer it using the knowledge from the four subjects or as preferred, share your personal insights.**_

She groaned silently, the only one's to hear it were the two people beside her, who were well into the fifth question.

She read down, taking in a deep breath before answering the questions:

_Unit1 - Mathematics_

_No.1 - The larger of two integers is 5/2 the smaller._

_If twice the smaller is subtracted from twice the larger, the difference is 12._

_Find the two numbers._

_Answer : 4,10_

_No.2 - The Computer Store has reduced the price of a computer by 15%._

_What is the original price of the computer if the sale price is $1275?_

_Answer: $1500.00_

_Unit2 - Language Arts _

_No.1 - Jill is in the library and there are a few students being too loud, Jane says, "shhh". She is demonstrating what type of speech and why? _

_Answer: Jill is demonstrating a form of speech called an interjection. She uses this to silence the other students which were too loud._

_No.2 - Who are Romulus and Remus?_

_Answer: Twins of Rhea Silvia and Mars, otherwise known as Hercules. They're best known for being the founders of Rome._

_Unit3 - Social Studies_

_No.1 - What devastated both Hiroshima and Nagasaki?_

_Answer: Nuclear bombs_

_No.2 - What is the biggest religion in Africa?_

_Answer: Islam_

_Unit4 - Science_

_No.1 - What is the word to describe the role of an organism in an environment?_

_Answer: Niche_

_No.2 - In the periodic table, which group are the noble gases in?_

_Answer: Group 18_

Rukia had flashed through the multiple choice questions with ease, having learned this at an early age. Though she had come from the slums, she received education from some threatened professors and anyone willing to educate the less fortunate.

"Shit, this is easy," she said quietly, looking through her answers one last time to make sure they were correct.

The silver haired boy shook his head, speaking to her with his deep voice. "Wait until you get to the last one."

Rukia looked over at him. He had a beautiful voice for his young age. It was like his vocal chords had gone through puberty yet his body had stayed childlike. She pushed a strand of black hair behind her ear, flipping the page to read the question:

_**Using your favorite book, choose a quote to relate to life and death and relating it back to a religious figure of your choosing (Whether you are religious or not, argue on the quote or support the quote).**_

They had provided each student two full pages to write their response. But Rukia had summed up her answer with just half a page:

"_We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread before us…"_

_Jane Eyre holds many intriguing texts on life and death and heaven and hell. The author has greatly illustrated the many themes of the book. _

_There are many non-believers in the world who rely on the information science has given them while the believers rely on both science and the muses of their religious models such as Muhammad, Buddha, Jesus, God, Ra, and others._

_We pray and hope for miracles from these almighty beings, sacrificing many things for their acceptances and works of magic. But most of the time, they do not grant what we want and one can argue that they do not give us what we want; but what we need. The problem in that is that it raises hope for believers, plunging them into a pit of eternal belief._

_But when the unspeakable happens, we ALL suddenly, even for a moment, believe in an almighty spirit. The non-believers suddenly believe and the believers acquire hope again. There have been many cases in which big moments have been said to because of an almighty being like a child being cured from a fatal disease._

_Then the non-believers suddenly do not believe anymore. Of course, it's hard not to. Diseases and illnesses can be cured by vaccines and other forms of treatment and prevention. While religion supplies us with hope and spiritual peace; science and understanding has provided us with countless products to help make travelling easier, predict the weather, advance in medical research, and amongst other things._

_Science proves many things and rejects certain aspects of fiction and religion. Religion states many things and provides the reader/believer a way to connect and have something to believe in. _

_And that is God._

_He is both knowledge and spirit. God is not limited to religion. He can symbolize serenity, knowledge, power, life energy, etc. In religious texts, God knows all and he does all. So in a way, God can be science. He could be the vaccines and the rising climate change. He could be the gas spewing from motor vehicles and he could be the produce and meat we digest everyday. _

_In summation, God IS everything. He is a beacon of hope and he is the air we breathe and he is the food we eat. No one has a monopoly on God and no one has a monopoly on the universe. We own everything equally. _

She smiled, reading over her rushed response and admitting it was wise and intellectual. She read the last sentence on the page:

_**Once you are done, check it over. If you have, place the quiz on the professor's desk.**_

She did as she was told. She grabbed her quiz and pushed in her chair, walking down the steps of the classroom. She wasn't the first to be finished so early, she'd observed that majority of students sitting at the front were already done; including Renji that when finished, began to draw tattoo ideas. Rukia scoffed, laughing internally at Renji,_ 'jeez, if that guy gets more ink then all he'll be is a gigantic tattoo.' _

She stopped at the professor's desk, he was busy grading papers to notice her. She piled her desk on top of the already finished, sure that hers would be the one he would be checking next. Her gaze had wandered to the two stacks of books he had. She liked his preference in literature; Moby Dick, The Godfather, Hamlet, The Great Gatsby, Dante's Inferno, The Brothers Karamazov, and other forms of great writings.

She couldn't help but smile warmly, her fingertips lacing the tattered pages of the worn out books. She'd recognized most of the books but had never read them, as she didn't have the wealth to afford them. "You have really good books." She thought aloud.

Ukitake smiled up at the girl, in awe that someone her age had took interest in his 'grown up' books. "Thank you…" He took a long pause, waiting for her to tell him her name.

"Rukia," she mumbled humbly.

"Well, Rukia. If you get into Seireitei Academy then maybe I'll recommend you to be placed in my homeroom class. We read a lot of these books and even though it sounds boring, it helps a lot students with morality and life." He smiled up at Rukia, delighted at her. He couldn't wait to be reading her paper.

She chuckled, "Well, I must be going. I don't want to bother you with all these questions and thank you." She turned around, walking up the steps with happiness and clear of mind.

_THUMP! _A big force had hit her straight on, her head throbbing from immense pain.

She fell softly on her fifth step, the students too occupied with the exam than to notice Rukia on the floor, grabbing where she was hit. She groaned, her hair covering the angered look she had. "Fuck," she mumbled, feeling her forehead, wincing at the soft touch.

She looked up at her attacker who looked to be older and should be at college or university; but was applying for the Academy. He was taller than her, much much taller. He had dark black hair the same as Rukia but his eyes were black, pure black. "Shit, shit, shit." She heard him say.

She stood up, moving past him. "Not your fault." She said grumpily, feeling nauseated at the attack.

And at the bottom of the stairs, she heard him say, "I'm sorry."

Those were the first words they spoke to one another.

* * *

_**December 26, 2008**_

_**3:30 PM - The entrance to Seireitei Academy**_

_B_yakuya waited for Rukia to enter the car but she was busy with lifting her remaining belongings from her locker and Ukitake's class.

She didn't wear her Seireitei Academy uniform, she wore grey baggy sweatpants and a baggy shirt with the members of BIGBANG. In her small arms was a brown box filled with her gym uniform, the papers she'd written, and parting gifts from the students that considered her to be their 'friend.'

She headed to Byakuya's red car, the windows tinted so that no one could see what happened inside. Beside her were the friends she'd had that would come to say goodbye; Renji, Matsumoto, Hinamori, Hitsugaya, Hisagi, Kira, Yumichika, and Ikkaku. But the person she needed the most wasn't beside her. He wasn't there to say goodbye to her and it hurt.

She felt like he used her. And she loved him. She loved him at a young age and she would always love him. She needed to move on. He wasn't there and if he wasn't there, he wasn't worthy of her love.

They stopped once they reached the car. She opened the back door, stuffing the box inside with her suitcases and others. She looked up at Byakuya who was staring into the road, as if he was imagining driving on rainbow road while on LSD. "Can I say goodbye to my friends?" She asked.

"As you wish," he nodded, letting her say goodbye.

She turned to her group of friends, each of them teary eyed and heartbroken at the thought of one of their own to leave.

Renji had gone first, not being able to bear saying goodbye to her. He crushed her upper body with his strong arms, making her gasp for air. She hugged back. "God, Rukia, why do you have to move?"

She cried softly into his chest, not wanting to leave his embrace. "Byakuya received a good job offer. And plus I need a new start. Seireitei Academy hasn't done shit for me than provide drama. I'm sorry, Renji."

He pulled away, moving to the sidelines to let the others get a chance to say goodbye to her.

Matsumoto, the busty girl had gone next. She stuffed Rukia's face in the middle of her large breasts. "RUKIA! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO?" Her words were slurred.

Rukia sniffed the air, the scent of vodka and sake burning her nostrils. "Matsumoto, you're drunk." She pulled away, closing her nose as to not smell the fumes anymore.

She joined Renji on the sidelines.

Hinamori went next. They were both crying noiselessly, hugging each other without a word. It wasn't until Hinamori went to pull away that Rukia had whispered something in her ear. "Tell him you love him."

Hitsugaya went next. Everyone seemed emotional and he was too, but he had this scowl and half a smile like he wanted her to leave. But of course he didn't. He hugged her first, taking in her scent; vanilla and cherry blossoms. "Rukia, remember the first time we met? At the entry exam?" She nodded, smiling. "I'm gonna miss you."

Rukia shed more tears. "Take care of Momo for me, okay?"

He nodded, joining the rest at the sidelines.

Hisagi and Kira went up to her at the same time, creating a body sandwich with Rukia in the middle. "You were cool and had a lot of guts. Sad to see you go." Hisagi said softly, letting go and joining the others.

Kira took his time, patting the small of her back. "I've lost too many people. God, don't tell me I'll lose you too?" He mumbled softly, biting his lip so a whimper didn't escape.

"You'll never lose me, Kira. I will always be here." She placed her palm on his heart, feeling his rising heartbeat.

He let go and Yumichika and Ikkaku did the same. But they crushed her more than hugged her.

"Rukia, you were beautiful and still are. Don't get ugly at Karakura." Yumichika mumbled, still hugging her.

"Eh, you were the only girl to ever beat me at fighting. I'll miss you but at least I'll have the title of being undefeated again." They let go, joining the rest.

She waved one last goodbye before entering Byakuya's car, tears dripping down her face. She didn't want to leave but she had to. The Academy was great but she left feeling hurt and heartbroken and Byakuya got a good offer to relocate.

And as they drove past the asphalt, she witnessed Kaien running towards her, but his legs didn't support the large amounts of horsepower the car had.

"RUKIA!" Kaien yelled, tears streaming down his face. _'God, HOW MANY TIMES CAN I FUCK UP? FUCK!_' He questioned, crumbling to the sidewalk where Renji began to comfort him.

She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to feel this way over a guy that forgot her and only needed her when he wanted something. She deserved to be loved and she deserved to be happy. She looked back at them, the bodies disappearing through the small mirror at the side of the car.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

And those were the words that never reached his ears, the words that had the ability to stop the sun and the words to heal both of their broken wounds.

But it was said and never heard; lost in the wind.

* * *

**_WELL THIS CHAPTER WAS A LONG ONE AND I HOPE YOU BEAR THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE WRITING._**

**_Again, notes-_**

**\- This chapter sucked majorly but I was feeling guilty for not updating and only one of betas are still responding and if the other responds, I'll update each chapter.**

**\- RukiKaien is a major crackship for me so there's still a shit ton.**

**\- It the last chapter, I said that Rukia had just passed a mere score and the essay part I wrote for her exam was halfassed so?****\- Reviews are much appreciated**


	5. Fight

_**February 17, 2009**_

_**10:30 AM - Gym class**_

_**Fight - Take part in a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of weapons.**_

Ichigo walked alongside Keigo and Sado towards the big soccer field behind the school's rotting building. His black Nike sneakers kicked the dried dirt off to the sides, his white Nike 'Just Do It' T-shirt swayed against the soft winds of the morning. His blue basketball shorts tickled the insides of his thighs, but not enough that he'd get an erection in public. It was normal and peaceful. He liked that.

The skies were painted with light shades of blues, the misty clouds billowing in all directions. The blades of the grass swayed against each other, the wind blowing past them. He stuffed his big hands into the much small pockets of his shorts, picking at the lint at the bottom. "What are we doing today?" He asked humbly, paying no attention to Keigo ogling the girls with their too short 'shorts' and their tight white v-necks.

Sado huffed, his muscles peaking through the thin fabric of his shirt. His skin gave the almost see-through shirt a coffee brown color. He walked in the same pace as Ichigo, with Keigo slacking behind. "Mr. Kenpachi said we're gonna do soccer/futbol."

He nodded. He liked soccer/futbol (_**A/N - JUST ADDING THIS BECAUSE EURO FANS GET MAD WHEN I SAY 'SOCCER') **_but he would like it more if he was any good at any other position than goalkeeper. "If I become goalkeeper one more time, I'm just gonna walk out. No point if I start hating a good sport."

"This time he said he wasn't gonna pick our positions. The new kids are gonna be team captains." Sado said, Keigo trying to keep up with them by slowly jogging.

Ichigo looked at him like a lunatic. "NEW KIDS? WE HAVE NEW KIDS?"

Sado nodded, unfazed at Ichigo's sudden burst of emotions. "Yeah, they came during religion class. I thought you'd be the first to notice because there's this guy with weirder hair than you. Yours looks natural, his just looks… like he's covering up grey hairs." And Ichigo made a mental note; that was one of the funniest things Sado had said.

He laughed quietly, joining the other students gathered around the field. "Point em' out to me, buddy." He looked around, trying to see if there were any faces he didn't recognize.

His field of vision was blocked by Sado's big index finger. "There's the one I was talking about."

He pointed to the red-headed and ever so smug Renji. He wore the same colored shirt and shorts as Ichigo, much too tight for his pulsing muscles. He was alone, but girls were circling him like sharks. He seemed like the type to be a heartbreaker; to be the one to do it and book it. '_Fuck, I have to warn Inoue of him_,' he thought to himself.

Sado pointed out the other two. "Name's Rukia and Kyle… I think." They walked over to where Renji was, the girl who was much shorter than both was pushed against the side of the other. He had his arm slung around her, pulling her closer to him as possible. They looked cute. Like a couple.

"They dating or something?" Ichigo asked, confused at the situation.

And that's when neglecting Keigo's presence had bit them in the ass. Well, less ass and more the shoulder. Ichigo yelped, jumping back. He rubbed the bitten shoulder, giving Keigo the death glare. "FUCK!" He yelled, throwing his head back in pain. "DO YOU HAVE LIKE ACID OR SOME SHIT IN YOUR SPIT CAUSE THIS FUCKING HURTS," he yelled again, tears threatening to stream down his face.

Keigo smirked at his accomplishment, ignoring the fact that his bite had caused some of his upper teeth to deepen into his gums. "No, my teeth are just so very sharp." He opened his mouth, flaunting the sharpened teeth." He laughed at Ichigo's face, surprised that he didn't see it coming. "And no, they are not dating. Why would future Miss Keigo be dating a guy like that?" He scoffed, still under the impression that they were dating.

Ichigo had regained his strength but his shoulder drooped more than usual. "Didn't ask cause I was interested. Just curious." He moved his arms in a circular motion, trying to ignore the seething pain.

"Don't get too curious. I wouldn't be too happy to see you stealing my girl away from me." A shadow had cast over Ichigo and the voice that spoke was deeper than his.

He turned his head, to face the three of them all at once. It was like seeing a movie where the characters crawled out of the screen; like the Ring. He gulped, warm saliva rolling down his throat. He opened his mouth to speak, "Um.. uh…"

The boy laughed again, Rukia biting her lips trying not to laugh. Renji was unamused. He stood by, rolling his eyes and scoffing every time Kaien made a snarky remark on behalf of Rukia. "Please, _YOU _couldn't even get Rukia." Renji mumbled.

Kaien looked away from Ichigo for a moment, eyeing Renji. "Like you can with your 'Oh, I'm too muscular to have feelings.'" He rolled his eyes.

Kaien jerked his hand away from Rukia's body, prepared for what Renji had to say. He mimicked Kaien's condescending tone. "Well, you wouldn't get her either with your small ass brain." He squinted his eyes, pinching his two fingers together.

Kaien smirked, "Doesn't take a big brain to impress a woman."

Rukia's cheeks turned into a deep shade of red. She turned away her face to hide her embarrassment.

Renji laughed like an idiot. "You're trying too hard. The only big thing you have is your big ego."

In their bickering, they had completely ignored Ichigo, giving him the opportunity to slip away before one of them asked whose side he was on.

Kaien leaned in close to Renji's ear, a devilish smile plastered onto his face. "But you know," His voice was a mix of seducing and annoying. "If the time were to come, the only name coming out of Rukia's mouth is mine."

Renji pushed him to the ground, his big hands holding on tight to his white shirt. Rukia was just standing by, as if this happened normally. Then Renji punched him. Again and again and again and again. Until his face was red and swollen in places. If he died right then and there, he would've became a John Doe because his face was so unrecognizable.

"Fuck. You." Renji said through his punches and clenched teeth.

"But that's not your job." Kaien had spat, blood trickling from the side of his mouth.

Renji stood up, wiping the blood on his shorts. Everyone watched. The girls had retreated to the bleachers where they continued to gossip. The athletes had gathered around the field, far away from the scene. Ichigo watched in disgust.

As he watched them from where he stood, he couldn't help but think, '_This was all because of a girl._'

He looked down at Kaien who was now being aided by Rukia. She looked so sad and worried carrying his body. She didn't look at Renji once, disappointed in him. They'd argued and slapped and punched but it never escalated to one being badly beaten.

Renji clenched his fists, fighting back the urge to punch Kaien again. He stopped Rukia with his bloodied hand, making an imprint on her shirt that wouldn't wash out for days. "Ruki-"

She cut him off, waving her small hands in front of him. "Don't. Just, what the hell. You're not like this. You were never like this." She turned to face him, her eyebrows furrowed. He wanted so badly to apologize. But he couldn't, because he liked it. She looked up at him, her big violet eyes glazing with anger and frustration. "It's your fault." He felt his heart breaking. "It's his fault too." She looked down at Kaien then back up at Renji. "But he never made it go this far. I hate this fighting. You guys need to stop if you want to continue being my friend."

"Rukia," he whispered, a silent tear rolling down his cheek.

He watched her walk away with the other man that loved her. It hurt so much. It hurt so much and he couldn't do anything.

Once they were out of his sight, he crumbled to the field where no one approached him. He sat there, his hands balled up into fists and beating the field. He stayed like that, just trapped in the enigma of himself.

"I love you so much." He said into the air as if it were Rukia. And it was partially true. She was everything to him; the sky, the moon, the stars, the ground, the oceans. She was his universe.

* * *

_**OKAY **__**SO I FINALLY DECIDED ON WHAT THIS STORY WILL BECOME. AND THE SCHOOL THING ENDED SO I CAN GO BACK TO THIS THING.**_

_**Again, notes:**_

_**\- Kaien seemed like a douchebag now; he's not**_

_**\- Can you hear me saying "unrequited love" behind my screen?**_

_**\- This'll be an IchiRuki story by the end but there will still be RukiKaien and IchiHime.**_

_**\- I've gotten more reviews and even though it's only three, I thank everyone who has taken their time to say and read this.**_

_**\- Reviews are much appreciated**_


	6. Sympathy

_**REVIEWS**_

_**To Sabrina: Thank you so much for the many wonderful and insightful ideas you've said in your response. As for Rukia's mysterious enigma, I'm writing this story as a third person limited which means I only know so much as I'm telling the story. I want Rukia to be a mystery from the beginning to end, but I will uncover stuff about her to the reader. It will be difficult though, because Rukia herself is such an amazing character with so many emotions that I can't even portray her the way I want to.**_

_**To EJ: While your review is short, I still appreciate it. I have decided in my long absence that this will be an IchiRuki story but with a lot of RukiKaien and IchiHime.**_

_**To Anonymous: I can already tell that you're an aggressive confidence builder. I appreciate what you've said and thank you so much.**_

_**To Titiaredhead: I know my plot is really confusing to follow but be patient because I think it'll be really good. I agree with the things you've said and I've been subjected into a lot of situations where people expect me to be homophobic towards someone or to act hostile towards someone of different race and culture and it disgusted me because being racist and homophobic is so normal nowadays. **_

_**NOW LETS BEGIN THE CHAPTER THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN PUBLISHED A LONG TIME AGO.**_

* * *

_**February 17, 2009**_

_**10:45 AM - Nurses office**_

_**Sympathy: To feel pity and sorrow towards someone's own misfortune.**_

Rukia and Kaien walked the halls of Karakura High, both covered in excessive amounts of blood. Students inside and outside of classrooms didn't bother to look at their misfortune. None of them had sympathy for the two that looked emotionally distressed and injured. No, they didn't care at all. They just simply washed their hands in the washrooms, continued taking tests, or rolled their eyes at them as if they knew what had initially happened. Rukia would've thought that someone would help them but she was incorrect. She was the only one in the entire school that held sympathy for the both of them.

Kaien used Rukia's shoulder as support. The blood dripping onto her white starched shirt would make him slip off every minute but Rukia would drag him back up, placing her cold hands on his waist. It made him feel at home; having Rukia take care of him and worry about him and just hold him until everything was okay. He would look at her with blood stains both fresh and dry running down his now swelling face. His eyes were shut due to Renji's punching, but he could still see every single beautiful detail on Rukia. He saw her furrowed brows and how they'd twitch once she saw students pass them by. He saw her white teeth gnawing on her soft pink lips softly, some of her lipstick rubbing on her teeth, but her licking them off. Looking at her made him feel so safe and so loved. He didn't need anyone else but her.

As she carried him to the nurses office, she saw blood marks on the newly cleaned tiles, knowing that it had been from Kaien's laziness to move his feet. She looked down at the boy, with anger and sorrow evident in her eyes. It would be the first time she would be able to look down at him, and surely it would be the last. She cleared her throat, feeling his blood coat her black hair with the sticky substance. Kaien returned the same look, but with confusion. Their whole trip had been silent so it was understandable. "Rukia?" He asked humbly, his lips barely parting from one another. He winced, licking blood off his lips.

"Kaien, you know Renji didn't punch you, right?" She asked, raising a playful at him.

"Yeah, I know. What about it?"

"Well, I mean, that means you just can't see clearly with all the blood blocking all your vision. That means you can walk and you don't have to stain my uniform any further. That means I don't have to carry you around like a log every damn time." She let go of Kaien, moving her limbs in circles to stretch her muscles.

Kaien nodded, standing up on his own two feet with little problems. Rukia was right, he didn't need to be such a lazy bum. "You know, Kaien, one day I'll be gone and you can't rely on me anymore." Rukia mumbled.

He looked at her with horror. "Rukia, are you leaving?"

She shook her head, chuckling lightly. "No, I just know I'll be gone. What are you gonna do then? What if tomorrow I die, what will you do? What will you and Renji do? I love you guys but it's hard to keep up when you fight all the damn time."

Kaien nodded, "I'll behave, I promise."

"You always say that. You always say you'll be friends but all you guys do is bicker and it sucks knowing you fight about me."

He stayed silent for the remaining walk, walking a few steps behind her. He knew she'd be crying. Rukia was as much as a brute as Renji. She was tougher than most girls Kaien and Renji had known. Renji would think it's because she grew up homeless and she ended up taking care of Renji and his friends. Kaien thought it was because of the Kuchiki lifestyle. Byakuya had always shown no emotion unless it was to his boss, Yamamoto, or his deceased wife, Hisana. When Rukia did show her emotions and told secrets no one had known, she cried. She was always hard on herself and everyone that even she could not handle her secrets.

He watched her breathe rapidly, clenching her fists. Her blood soaked hair hugged her neck tightly, but she did not move it. She just tried to control her crying. "I'm so sorry, Rukia. I want you to stay forever."

Rukia had stopped herself. Her hands returned to normal and her breathing had returned to normal. She looked back at Kaien with the normal cold look she had. "We're here," she gestured towards the sign that said: Nurses Office. She walked back to Kaien, carrying him inside for their remaining steps. No one was in the waiting area, so the nurses could take their time in fixing him.

She sat Kaien down on one of the blue plush seats with his head resting against the white coated walls. She was tippy toeing on the counter, talking with the receptionist. "Please fill this out, while I prepare all the necessary medical supplies." The nurse handed Rukia a brown clipboard with stapled papers attached. She returned to Kaien, sitting beside him.

"Cause of injury?" She asked, as if she didn't know.

"Two very strong fists." He said, mocking Renji's low and gruff voice.

She giggled, "Sexual history?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Not a virgin. Not as active anymore."

"Who did you even have sex with?" She asked, knowing such thing.

"Miyako. It was the senior prom and she asked me out and I said yes. We got drunk then we did it." He was embarrassed to tell Rukia about the time he lost his virginity. It was like telling the person you love you had been cheating with them since the day you locked eyes.

"Wanna know mine?" She asked, continuing to fill out the information sheet.

"You're not a virgin? Byakuya would behead you if he knew." He said, shocked at the information being thrown his way.

"No, Byakuya knows. He approves of him."

"AND WHO'S HIM?" Kaien raised his voice, unaware that Byakuya had someone he wanted Rukia to be with.

"Renji," and his heart broke. He heard her happy voice say his name so casually. God he hated him.

"How?"

"Byakuya was on a mission somewhere in Europe. I invited Renji and we got carried away and had sex."

"When?"

"Right around the time I was about to leave Seireitei High."

He was appalled. That was when Renji had began avoiding her. How could she invite the prick that ignored her and not the guy that loved her. "Why didn't you invite me?"

She thought for a moment, oblivious to the fact that she was breaking his heart every time she spoke. "You didn't cross my mind."

He slumped back in his seat, the only thing coming out of his mouth was a very somber, "Oh." He watched Rukia, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. She couldn't see because there was so much blood and he was glad she didn't see. She'd call him weak and a wuss. He didn't want to hear her speak anymore. As he stared her, with tears rolling down his cheeks; he began hating her. He hated how the thought of Renji had even crossed her mind when he ignored her. He hated how she forgot about him as Renji touched her where he only could. He hated how she didn't notice him crying. He hated her so much. But he hated himself more. He hated himself because he knew he couldn't hate her and he'd just fall in love with her again and again.

* * *

_**THIS CENTERS MORE ON KAIEN AND HOW HE FEELS ABOUT RUKIA INSTEAD OR RUKIA BECAUSE IM GONNA DO SOMETHING TO HER CHARACTER THAT MAYBE A LOT OF PEOPLE WONT LIKE.**_

_**Just a couple notes:**_

_**\- There will be a major character death.**_

_**\- IchiHime WILL happen but this will end up as an IchiRuki.**_

_**\- Next chapter is gonna be more Renji and Ichigo centered.**_

_**\- Reviews are much appreciated.**_


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